it's over

Ayoko na....

Pagod na ko....

Titigilan ko na to....

He's Out of My Life

(Original Version "She's Out of My Life" by MJ)

He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for three years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands

So I've learned that loves not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

And he's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned indecision and cursed pride
I kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

..to you..

Too many times I drove you away
But you stick with me
Even though we had our differences
Be it that big or that small
You were always there
You always return

But still, that thing that we have
Is not enough I know
Not enough for you to think of me
The way I want you to see me

I don't have the strength
To say in your face
What I realy want
So I stayed with you
Hoping you'll get it someday

Almost three years.....
All those times...
Some will say it is a milestone
But it's no longer for me to celebrate

Now the time has come
That you finally got out of that box
That box you build yourself
Seeing for the first time
That there is something more in others
Than what you see in me

I am happy for you
For at last you found what you deserve
But why is my vision
Getting clouded in mist
Shoulders heaving hard
My chest wanting to burst

I really shouldn't be writing this
Nor posting it in here where I know you would be able to read
But I can't help myself
These feelings are blowing me away

I didn't thought it would be like this
Like my head's going to blow
Even this 'note" that I'm writing
Are all out of places
Just like what I am right now

I hope you'll be happy
I really do
I know that you will see
Much more than you found in me

it made me think

Tomorrow will be another year in my life.

I actually thought of just letting it pass like I always do in the past.
Besides, it's just a day like any other day, right?
The sun will shine, then will go down as it usually does.
But then, with the recent events that happened in my life, to my family...
I realized that there are so many things to be grateful of.
And that I need to thank the Lord somehow.
And celebrate this special day, particularly with the people I love

and to those who are close to me.

I'm not that grand, but I will pull this through somehow.
To remember why I'm here, what I'm living for and to rejoice life.

----------------------------------
My stepmom got into an accident last Sunday. She was on her motorcycle when this jeepney suddenly swerve on her direction, hitting her and Ethel, who was with her at that time. (Ethel by the way is her brother's girlfriend). Ethel literally flew while she kept her grip on what you can call the wheel of the motorcycle. Upon impact, her motorcycle skidded under the jeep and my tita's shoulder hit the jeep's wheel instead of her head. Good thing she always wear her helmet and that's what actually saved her plus her quick thinking. You can say that it was a close brush with death. Thankfully, God is good. She has no bruises, just a small bump on her forehead and severe muscle pains. But other than that, she's fine. Her x-ray returned normal (thank God) and Ethel was fine as well. My brother-in-law was not that lucky. He died on the spot when a similar incident like this happened to him 2 years ago.

Thinking on this, I've almost decided to skip on my day. But this is also the same reason why I want to push through with my plan. Because now, it has a bigger meaning for me. Not only to mark myself, but also to keep in mind the special gift of life that was given to me, to the second chance that my tita have. And that everyday, we can make the most out of it.

So, I'm making the most out of what I have. I used to celebrate other people's achievement, success or special day. But now, I want every occassion as memorable as it can be, including mine. After all, birthday only comes once in a year. Don't you agree?

life at work

Hayan... just to make sure na hind na mabubura itong nobela kong post, gumamit muna ko ng notepad. Mag-copy-paste na lang ako from now on para hindi ko na uli maramdaman ang ganung frustration.

Mabalik lang... kaya ganyan ang topic ng post ko eh dahil gusto ko malaman nyo ang mga pinaggagagawa ko sa opis. Minsan, talagang mahirap, lalo na pag natamabakan ako ng gawain --- na nangyari sakin nung binulutong ako. tsk.. tsk.. Halos 1 buong linggo ang ginugol ko sa upuan ko para makahabol..kasakit kaya ng ulo yun. Hay... bawal talaga magkasakit! Pati bulsa ko butas sa gamot. Saka yung mga anak ko dun eh napapariwara pag wala ang mother hen..tinotopak sila...hehe. Pero kadalasan, enjoy at masaya kasi nakikita mo yung bunga ng mga paghihirap mo. Tulad na lang nitong nakaraang buwan, sa wakas, na-hit na rin ng team ko ang lahat ng target namin. Sobrang tuwa ako! At alam ko, pati sila, nasiyahan sa bunga ng mga paghihirap nila. Laking pasalamat ko dahil, kahit may mga pasaway man, lahat sila eh nasunod naman sakin.

Ang bilis lumipas ng linggo, halos hindi ko na maalala kung anu-anu ang mga pinaggagagawa ko nitong nakaraan. Pero try ko ha..

Eto na nga, nung lunes, dahil simula ng linggo, medyo tinatamaan pa ng 1st-day syndrome ang mga tao ko. Kaya naman para sumaya sila ng konti eh, binigyan ko ng sugar rush. Nagpamudmud ako ng choki-choki (at promise, pinatos nila yun..hehehe..cuteness di ba). Eh di medyo nahyper yung iba. At least nagising sila. Tapos nung Tuesday, chika day ang tawag ko dito. Kasi wala ako ginawa buong araw na yun kundi kausapin mga tao ko. Nakikbalita at nangangamusta kung anu mga nangyayari sa kanila. Yung iba, masinsinang pag-uusap, yung iba tawanan. Ganun kasi ako, pag-session na namin, nagpapakuwento talaga ako.

At dahil sa talagang gusto ko silang i-appreciate sa performance nila nung May. Nagbalak ako magpa-pizza nung Wednesday na yun. Super hanap pa ko ng isang TL na pwedeng mahiraman ng corporate credit card, wala pa kasi ako nun at nagka-aberya sa application ko. Nung nakahiram na ko, aba! Ang 24-hour open na yellow cab nagsara! Nadisappoint ako. Kasi nasabi ko na sa mga tao ko tapos biglang walang dala si ako. Hayz... Pati tuloy sila nalungkot, pero nangako naman ako na babawi sa kanila. Kinabukasan, tinuloy ko na talaga ang pagpapa-pizza sa kanila. Di na ko naghanap ng mahihiraman ng card, ako na muna ang gumastos kahit 100 pesos lang ang natira sakin.. kaloka. Pero okay lang, nung nakita ko naman mga mukha nila habang kumakain.. bawing-bawi din ang pag-aalala ko. Alam nila na para sa kanila talaga yun at deserving din naman sila dahil sa pinaghirapan nila yun. (sayang nga lang at hindi ko naispan kunan yung pizza. tsk.. tsk..) Bukod pa sa pizza, mega off the phones din sila dahil nag-pa meeting ako bawat "Courts" (yun yung mga grupo-grupong binuo ko nung April). Nag-define kami ng mga goals nila for this month. Nakakaloka lang dahil sa sobrang saya nila nung araw na yun, nag-make up ba naman habang nagtratrabaho. Mayron kasi samin na nag-aaral ng pagme-make up. At take note, di lang basta basta ito. Pag nakita mo gamit nya, kumpleto mga brushes.. pati mga pang-kolorete sa mukha. Pati nga ako nabiktima, yan ang kinalabasan.

ok ba?

make-up courtesy of Gen

Nung Friday naman, gumala sa floor namin yung mga nanalo sa Flores de Mayo (isa to sa mga ginawang activity ng company namin).

MJ, Hershey and Ash

Walang nasabi beauty ko dito. Sobrang naaliw ako sa kanila kasi 2 dun sa nanalo eh kaibigan ko... sayang nga lang at hindi ko napanuod yung mismong coronation. Umuulan kasi ng malakas nung araw na yun, kainis nga at late ako ng 6 minutes dahil sa sooooobbbbrang traffic! Swear! Pati mga tao ko late kasi bumabaha na sa lugar nila. Buti na lang, shorts day nung araw na yun. At halos lahat ng lalaki sa team ko eh mga naka-shorts.

Joel, Derek, Carlo

Natuwa tuloy ako kunan sila. Wala na nga lang si Marco at nakauwi na. Siguro naman kahit papaano eh naging komportable sila. Tingnan nyo naman, parang nautusan lang bumili ng suka sa mall (hindi kanto, naka sapatos kasi eh).

Hay.. anu naman kaya happenings nitong susunod na linggo? Excited na ko.. :)

T_T

naranasan mo na bang magsulat
ng pagkahaba-haba
assignment man ito,
thesis o isang kwento
at dun sa sinulat mo
binuhos mo ng buong-buo
ang oras at atensyon mo
pinaglaanan ng pawis at dugo
pinaghirapan
pinagsikapan

at para ano at saan
sa isang iglap
mabubura lahat

dahil walang "undo" dito sa blogger!!!!
waaahhhhh!!!!!
huhuhuhu!!!!!
ang haba haba na ng isinulat ko!!!!!
chismax pa naman yun
T_T

na-frustrate tuloy ako
ayoko na ulitin
mafru-frustrate lang ako lalo
dahil hindi ko na mahahanap
yung eksaktong salitang ginamit ko kanina

waaahhhh!!!!!

**ikaanim na serye**

BORACAY

May 27-29, 2009

huling hirit sa tag-init

i'll be gone for a few days

will be going to boracay naman

whoo hoo!!!!

am so excited!

and i just can't hide it!

hehehe

will be back on saturday

work lang muna ko tonight

then diretso na flight tom!

*sana umaraw*